The Silence of Stillness

The Silence of Stillness

I find it interesting that as I have deepened my intimacy with Jesus he has opened a door to my enjoyment of stillness. Usually these places of stillness have been specific moments and or hours in the course of a week. These moments were a respite from other activity and allowed me to regroup and find a pace that matched my heart needs. I have always found this type of stillness powerful, refreshing and supremely relational. Intimacy at its finest!

What I find as He moves me into more extended periods of stillness, is that I can at times begin to experience an emptiness that has left me surprised. It is not a vacant emptiness for it is liminal . It is an emptiness similar to the moment when you pause between taking steps. This moment though is frozen in that instant of having already shifted my centre of gravity and I am caught in the realization that I will fall flat if my next foot does not take its proper place. If I need to wait longer than I am used to, for that foot to move and catch my momentum, I can quickly become full of nervous energy in this moment of hanging in space. At times it has been even more impossibly extended, and though I have not fallen, I have been caught in slow motion, knowing something unusual is occurring yet still feeling the stress of the need to get that foot forward. However, when I have been able to step out of the frantic desire to shift my foot and relax, I find that this is a stillness that breathes of implied change, yet holds only anticipation. There is little clarity in the silence, only trust. While I do not know where the next step will land I am caught in the silence of Hope.

When I am still, sitting in that place with no answers and only the calm of the present; while yet I am surrounded with the potentials of future unknowns and I find no answering voice from my Daddy God, I am present in a silence of stillness! 

Personally, I have been created to look for answers.( That is one of the reasons I ask so many questions!) I want my world to make sense and be coherent. And fortunately, on a big scale it does! Yet, often as Life unfolds, I find these moments of waiting. I am sure you will agree, that it is such a relief when the outcome of that which lies ahead is known.  Of late, I am frequently finding that as I step into these shifts in dynamic, that I am moving into a rich silence that is built on trust and has a direct connection to a life of faith that is quite different from that which I have grown accustomed. 

I now believe that the act of “journeying” is  central to my Daddy God’s perception of my Life. I have tended to value end points rather than process points in this journey! As I move into the grace of inhabiting stillness, I am finding that the companionship of silence breathes a reality into my being that is larger than its experiential dimensions. It marks my journey! As I enjoy stillness in the dynamic of change, I encounter a grace that flows in peace and colours my being. I am finding an anchor growing that truly lies inside the “veil” and is tied to the incarnation of the truth that I have been given His Life which is really just Him!.  And so possessing Him, I am shifting to expect my Daddy God to freely give me ALL things. 

This confidence flows from a place of being - not from a place of having earned. I am finding that the only way I myself am coming to know this place of being, is in the stillness and the silence of Hope. Silence begins to put on flesh. Silence begins to Dance. Silence begins to sing explosively in music not framed for my soul. In stillness, I find my Spirit becomes the stronger partner and my eyes increasingly find their silent focus in His gaze. Silence is teaching me the reality that it is not so much that I am waiting for something, but rather -I have inherited and so in quiet trust letting that reality sink into my world! As this settling in process occurs, it takes me beyond words  and into a silence of promise that is worth anything!